Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Stuff I never knew about that happens...

 FINALLY! I've fought the constant urge to keep watching YouTube videos and start writing once again. The only time I ever visit my blog is whenever I make a change in my blogger theme. I think I'm more concerned about how my blog looks rather than its content. So I am having a rather hard time on being consistent towards writing but that's because a lot of things have kept me busy (or so I'd like to think) these past few weeks.

First thing's first, I'm the realest I'm going to university in my hometowncity after all. I'm not very happy about that, I'm not very upset about it either. Just kind of really bitter whenever the thought of it comes up. My fingers are still crossed for sophomore year, hoping to be a transfer student. Classes start next week and I can honestly say that I am not the least bit excited. Oddly enough, I feel way too neutral about it.

The past few weeks have been nothing but a series of clinic visits, dozens of blood tests(and more to come), going out, desert heat, gym and getting healthy. Apparently, I am quite sick. I also have a stupid summer flu(ish) that I just caught the other day which is just perfect timing since I have orientation tomorrow.

Metronome at The Space

Metronome Jam Night at The Space (credits to White Cube)
The Space Menu (credits to White Cube)

However, interesting things did happen. My friends and I attended something called, White Cube (Metronome), a local organization that holds gigs/events for people with many talents; mostly musicians. Things or events such as White Cube, Speak AD and other local events aimed towards artists, poets, musicians, an audience with artistic or musical interests etc. are quite rare where I'm from. So when I heard about White Cube for the first time, I could not believe that there's such a thing! At the same time, I was frustrated at myself for not knowing about it earlier. WHAT OTHER THINGS HAVE I BEEN MISSING OUT ON??

Maria, Nadia, Me and Rabab and the White Cube (credits to White Cube)

Panic Writing
(credits to White Cube)
The event was lively and wonderful. The bands, duos and solos that played during the set were amazing. We took a lot of photos with them. Unfortunately, I only have a few from my phone. It was honestly one of the most memorable events I've ever been to.

With the band member of When The Night Comes
With the band member of When The Night Comes

A selfie before the event
This dude named, Charlie, from the band called, "Nikotin" had a pick stuck on his forehead. He happily gave one of his to Maria. We asked him how he stuck it to his forehead. In response, he told us, "Just lick it and stick it on your forehead." which we happily did not get to do since our sweat already did the job. I think Maria's sweat and my sweat merged through this guitar pick as we took turn taking selfies with it. 
The event took place in The Space which was pretty far but it was a pretty cool space to chill in. Plus, the bus ride home was fun!

Art books and magazines at The Space's book shelf

Pretentiously posing and reading
It honestly did not feel like I was in the country that I'm in. It felt like a whole new environment. Like I'm in a cafe someplace else, enjoying a jam night as if it was something I do on most of my Saturday nights. Deep down inside, I secretly dream of performing one day with Maria and my ukulele. But first, let me get rid of the horrible fear that I might miss a chord or crack my voice during my performance.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Sexy Smooth Songs In a Sexy Smooth Playlist

Lately, I have been so obsessed with some songs and remixes, particularly Constant Conversations by Passion Pit, Gooey by Glass Animals and Latch by Disclosure ft. Sam Smith. These songs sound incredibly sexy, some smooth... but definitely sexy. It kinda gets me into that singing and weird dancing feeling. Kinda like how people are dancing in this Electric Feel music video by MGMT.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

The Grand Budapest Hotel | A Wes Anderson Appreciation Post

So I watched The Grand Budapest Hotel not too long ago.

The Grand Budapest Hotel is a film directed and written by the one and only, the amazing, the wonderful legendary person in the world of film, Wes Anderson. The film tells the story of Gustave H., the Grand Budapest Hotel's concierge, and Zero Moustafa, his bell boy who, later on, becomes a trusted friend. Together they go through a series of obstacles such as a stolen priceless Renaissance painting and fighting over a huge family fortune. Furthermore, it includes multiple disguises and traveling across multiple places at a time.


LIKE SERIOUSLY, the colour palette and overall theme of this film was way beyond amazing. I mean, LOOK AT THAT.

Of course, just like any other Wes Anderson film, Grand Budapest Hotel was an extremely funny film. However, I find that this film is particularly funny in such a way that the dialogues, scene transitioning, acting and characters all blend together so beautifully and really makes the film stand out.

I recommend this film to pretty much everyone or anyone who wants to watch a really good film and have a really good laugh. Props to Mr. Wes Anderson for making such a wonderful movie.


Monday, July 7, 2014

We Need To Talk About Kevin

We Need To Talk About Kevin is a psychological thriller film adaptation  from its novel (which I haven't read yet but looking forward to) by Lionel Shriver. The film was directed by Lynne Ramsay; starring Ezra Miller, Tilda Swinton and John C. Reilley.

The film tackles with the common debate on nature vs nurture along with the different real world dilemmas such as parenting, motherhood, its effects and its roles and how the community or the people involved reacts to it and whatnot.

The film is about a mother, Eva, whose struggle focuses on her first-born child, Kevin. The relationship she experiences with her son during his birth through growing up is shown as complicated. From the constant crying during Kevin's infancy to the non empathetic attitude he has shown during his older years, there is no doubt that the relationship between Kevin and his mother is distant, cold.

Eva decides to confront her husband, Franklin, about Kevin's behaviour and how it affects her but he decided not to take this as a critical issue. Kevin, in Franklin's eyes, seems just like any other boy. However, later on, Eva begins to see signs of violent and harsh attitude from Kevin in which his actions resulted into severe consequence.


Throughout the film, all I could wonder is, "Why?. Like "Why does Kevin hate his mother so much?" "Why must he be so cold and distant?" "Why must the community shun her so much for whatever it is that had happened?"  It starts off with Eva constantly being shunned, insulted, shamed or harassed by almost everyone around her whether it may be her neighbours, colleagues or community, making her live out of fear and recluse.

At first I could not understand why and was eager enough to want to know what it is that resulted to such hatred. The film transitions between the flashbacks and memories during Eva's motherhood and then to her present self. This helps us understand why everyone around her despises her so much and put the pieces together.

I love the way this film was directed. I think Lynne Ramsay did a really great job transitioning from a calm atmosphere (making them seem like a normal family for a moment) into a tense, melancholic one. This shows the two sides of Eva, one that struggling with her son's strange and inappropriate behaviour, the other struggling with its consequence, the aftermath; both not very different from each other. And most importantly, I'd like to really acknowledge the great acting between Ezra Miller and Tilda Swinton. They delivered the character's emotions so wonderfully.

And the ending would leave you haunting just like the way it did to Eva. Could it be that it was her fault? Or could it have just been something that was out of her control?  It really makes you think.

The film is altogether horrifying, heartbreaking, depressing and thought provoking. It's making me wonder if its book is the same, if not much more.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

University, Decision Making and Other Scary Things


"Have you decided where you'll be going for university and what major you're taking?"

A lot of people have been asking me this question now that I have graduated from high school. In response, I would answer, "I don't know yet... I'm still looking." as I shrug my shoulders. And often times, these people would look at me in confusion, wondering why this seventeen year old teenager doesn't know where to go for university yet or what to take when she had about a year to figure her life out; moreover, her entire seventeen and a half years.

See, I know what to take for uni or college as a major. I know where I want to go. Unfortunately, due to financial and misunderstanding problems along with everything else, being decisive and able to think with a peace of mind is something that I cannot do at the moment. I mean, we're not financially unfortunate. It's just that there are some options that cannot be considered.

The future is something that I cannot seem to grasp. I mean, after all, it is beyond our control and no one in this world has control over their future. But at least, when it comes to college or university, they do. It seems like everyone or well, mostly everyone, around me has it all figured out. I see my fellow senior batch mates celebrating and announcing over the social media the fact that they have been accepted in a university of their choice and that they will be moving and packing and settling down in a month or so and whatnot. 

But here I am... I mean, I have not even at least tried to apply to a university yet.. But I don't want to study Business. And I don't want to study in a university that I don't even like. I want to study Graphic Designing. I want to study art. 

I know it sounds selfish, considering a lot of things both financially and personally. Honestly, I'd take a gap year if it means saving up some money to be able to go to the uni of my choice but I'm scared of the people I would disappoint if I take that decision.

I just don't want to be stuck in the same place, stuck in the same city in the same apartment. Not really going anywhere, studying a major that I don't like in a university that I was forced to go to because I had no choice. 

Those who wander, are not lost. | via Tumblr

Sometimes I wish life isn't so hard and deciding for the future is as simple as some people make it out to be. I wish that there's a way to be unstuck and to be away from this place that I desperately want to leave. 

There's so many things to prove, so many things to consider and think about that it's so overwhelming.
My future is still undecided and scattered like tiny pieces of glass... and that alone scares me.